Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
