The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
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