god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
