The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
