yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
