p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
