Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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