Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
