so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
