is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
