Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
