your thong is hanging out like whoa
Can i not drive my cunt home
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
