this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Randomize
