we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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