kristin has been a bad kristin
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
try to milk me bitch
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