Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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