that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
