first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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