i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize