Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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