i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
