I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize