I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
