That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
