He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
