I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
