It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
