Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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