I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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