so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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