All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
