If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
