Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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