Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
