all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
