He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
