Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
