I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
