Its about making memories worth repressing
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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