it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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