how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
