I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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