Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
