Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
