theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize