final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
