I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
My balls are so social today.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
