why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I have so many feelings about this burrito
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
