It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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