Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
