3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
