I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It's blow job season.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
