you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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