guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
