Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
